Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ten Worst Films of the Past Decade UPDATED

OK, after much deliberation, here are the Top Ten Worst Films of the Past Decade. Let me know what I missed.

Here they are:

10. The Time Machine (Laugh out loud terrible.)
09. Ghost Rider (Worst comic book movie of all time?)
08. The Matrix Reloaded (Awful - are the Wachowski's a "one and done"?)
07. The Matrix Revolutions (Nearly unwatchable.)
06. Pearl Harbor (Putrid romance against our darkest moment.)
05. Superman Returns (Seriously, one of the worst films I've ever seen.)
04. Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (The only good thing? The pain was finally over.)
03. Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (Forgettable, sad, preposterous.)
02. Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (Featuring the worst character in film history, Jar-Jar Binks - annoying, unfunny, stupid, rascist. That about covers it.)

...and the clear cut, unmistakeably Number 1 Worst Film of the Past Decade is...

01. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls.
Not only does it not stand with the trilogy, but it's a flat out bad film. Easily the worst film of Speilberg's career. A vile, vile pile of garbage.

George Lucas
has spent the past decade doing everything in his power to destroy his own legacy. I am pretty sure he wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says "what can I do to destroy something beloved to millions of people today?" Make Darth Vader into a sissy, whiny little baby? Check. Film entire movies against a blue screen with God-awful CGI? Check? Write some of the worst dialogue of all time? "Anakin, you're tearing me apart...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!". Check. "OK, since that's all been done, how can I destroy my greatest creation, Indiana Jones?" That answer is too long and complicated, so I will be writing my Top Twenty Reasons Why Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls Sucks soon. Here is a good little primer.

But Speilberg. Speilberg should know better. This decade he made War of the Worlds and Munich, both of which are superb...then....this. The more I think about it, I blame him. Ugh...I'm off to cry about the total destruction of my childhood...